Struggling

I realized something today, There’s not one part of any of this that I’m good at.

I’ve been struggling for months…….I just can get out of my own way……I think way to much.

My entire life I’ve been a slave to someone else’s dreams and bank account.  Breaking my body, robbing time from my life, at times being mentally broken with stress.  As you’ve read previously I said screw it and went to work for myself.   See Rewind and Self Employment for a partial back story.

It was great until the work stopped coming.  So I learned something new….the art of making the phone ring.  Went well until I realized that I had turned myself into a slave again, trying to make other people dreams come true.  And some people got some dreams they don’t want to pay for and don’t want to wait anytime for.  Opps! I just did that thing where I complain about someone else and then realize that I’m doing the exact same thing in life right now,…. big dreams, no patience, and when it gets tough I just want to quit.

I always end up correcting my self when I sit down to write here.  I should write way more often.  But that’s one of the things I just sat down to complain about being hard.  It’s a pain to get started and I’m so easily distracted but when it starts to flow it’s not to bad.  Just gotta chain yourself to a chair and do it.

Anyways,  I was working my butt off again with no time or energy for the things I had begun the business for.

I realized one day that if  could make my phones ring enough to keep me too busy, I could probably do the same for someone else.  And if I could do it consistently I could possibly get a small sliver of their action for my services.   Example:  I use the internet and some tricks I’ve learned to generate some real leads for Joe Blow’s tree service company and Joe gives me some kickbacks.  Joe’s to busy trimming trees and and keeping up with employees and all that to learn all this, and the kickbacks are far less than a full time employees salary to do the same.  So its a win win situation.

Now that’s brilliant.  Lets do this for everybody we can find.

So I set out to learn more.  It was really awesome, the though that I could be a “white collar worker” with a blue collar heart.  Actually be able to help someone grow their business and start a new one myself.  I was super excited to be something different, something more than I’ve ever been.  But damn its been hard trying to build something with actually building it.  I’ve always been hand’s on, working hard(physically), swinging hammers, cuttin’ wood, etc.

So that’s where I’m at now, trying to be more than I’ve ever been,  trying to overcome who I had become locked into thinking I was, trying to breakout out myself and be something.  Trying not to quit, or be a failure, or lose my mind.  I gotta do this, I gotta make it happen.

Deuces  J_Red